A 'How-Not-To-Style-Your-Life' Guide

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Since We Last Spoke

Since we last spoke just over a month ago, quite a lot has happened. Under any other circumstances I’d dare not bore you with my favourite “I’ve just been SO busy recently” excuse, but really that’s the best I can come up with. Moving swiftly on…
So, the day after I put up my last blog post, I moved back to Exeter. Going into my second year of university has been slightly bizarre, and the only thing I can liken it to is having a recurring dream set in the same place but with something different happening each time. I suppose it’s like Skins in that sense; same place, different experiences, but with less recreational drugs and more watching bake off with friends.

I’ve moved into a student house with two of my friends from last year and together we’ve created somewhat of a commune built around our mutual love of tea, fairy lights and the speed with which Domino’s arrives at our house (less than 20 minutes). I was in self-contained studio accommodation last year (as were my housemates (none of us by choice), and after a year of horrible neighbours and occasional bouts of loneliness, it’s amazing to finally be in a communal environment living with two of my closest friends.

In essence, I’ve spent the last month teaching myself how to survive away from home… again. This has come with varying degrees of success, with our aforementioned proximity to Domino’s proving frightfully problematic.

As you can see, our house has essentially become where pizza boxes go to die.

When we haven’t been gorging ourselves on fast food we have been attempting and experimenting with our cooking, but sometimes stuff like this happens, as Dan learnt the hard way.

Apparently after three hours in the oven, slow cooked chips aren’t a thing.

I’ve also learnt that when you’re on day four of a game of washing up chicken with your housemates, entering the kitchen without a gas mask on is not only inadvisable but potentially fatal. But in our defence we’re all still alive and the house has yet to burnt down, so, y’know. Small victories.

Soon after moving back, I once again submerged myself in the hedonistic escapism of freshers’ week. I ended up going out nearly every night and can say with absolute confidence that freshers flu isn’t exclusive to first years. Much like herpes and 1/3 expressed as a percentage, that shit recurs. At least I’ve learnt to exercise more caution next year, or consider investing in a plastic bubble so that I can continue to relive my past alongside the 2016 freshlings.

Since coming back to uni I’ve done such adult things as developing a taste for red wine, getting a TV license and buying a water filter. Thrilling, I know. I am, however, liking dark chocolate away from having a full-blown existential crisis. I’ve also discovered that loo roll is like a precious metal in our house and three humans living under the same roof get through it like tictacs. It’s reached a point where I’m convinced that my housemates are scrunching pieces up and eating it like popcorn.

This year I’m only doing four modules across both semesters, and although that means I don’t have to write as many essays, my reading list has become noticeably longer. I had complete freedom over my modules this year with the only rule being that two of them had to focus on pre-1800s literature, and it’s worked out that both of these modules are this semester. As much as I’m enjoying it, the novelty of studying the great works of Shakespeare and his contemporaries wears a little thin after a while when that’s all you’re studying. Let’s just leave it at that.

Above all else, the most important thing to have happened to me is that WE GOT A PET TORTOISE. Everyone, I’d like you to meet Carlos. What my housemate was unaware of when she named him is that he is actually a she. We’ve decided not to change her name, though. We love her just the way she is. Carlos the androgynous tortoise. Challenging archaic gender norms one reptile at a time.

Other than that, not much else has happened. Discovering the world of avocado toast is the closest I’ve ever come to a religious experience. Continuing to grow out my hair is proving to be cost effective but somewhat aesthetically problematic. Clean underwear is still a luxury reserved for the lesser-spotted moments when I actually have my life together. Same old, same old.

As for the near future, I’m currently working on a university room tour, so if you enjoyed my childhood bedroom tour then be sure to keep an eye out for that.

I still stand by my statement that fairy lights make everything cuter.

But I think that’s enough for now. I can only apologise for the sheer length of this post but thank you for making it to the end. In the meantime it’s goodbye from me *waves* and it’s goodbye from Carlos *retreats into shell*. Goodbye.


  1. I love your writing style, such a pleasure to read. Good luck with second year!

    1. Thank you so much, that honestly means the world to me!

  2. You know it was once when I tried making french-fries for myself and believe me, it was such a fail. My fries were so black that they were barely visible. That was the last day when I tried doing something own. Now I just order things online; be it ordering a burger or a pizza, ordering an assignment, or an essay. I prefer getting help instead of messing up my work.

  3. Truly, this article is really one of the very best in the history of articles. I am a antique ’Article’ collector and I sometimes read some new articles if I find them interestingMenadesire. And I found this one pretty fascinating and it should go into my collection. Very good work!

  4. Wow! I love the way you write. I am the biggest fan of your writing style and I also want to learn this from you but I do not get much time because I have to provide Assignment Services to the students. I promise I will try to learn something from your writing style this weekend because I am totally free this weekend.


© OLIVER WEARING. All rights reserved.
Blogger Template Designed by pipdig